Blowing out someone else’s candle will not make yours shine brighter!

”Be an encourager, the world has plenty of critics already”. 

Throughout life, we will always encounter people who will attempt to tear us down and rupture our spirit.

There was a period when I let this negativity ruffle my feathers and upset me. I allowed peoples actions to influence how i felt. Thi

What I didn’t comprehend, is that we are in control of our own emotions and whether we are going to allow that toxic person make us feel negative about ourselves.

Talk to someone who cares 

Often, we are embarrassed that someone has criticized us or made us feel horrible so we keep all these cruel opinions to ourselves. Why verbalize something so appalling again? But by sharing these insecurities with someone who genuinely cares can support you and diminish how you judge yourself.

It can be extremely therapeutic to speak openly about these lousy times with a close friend. Scientific research even proves that a good moan and groan accompanied by a glass of wine and a good friend can reduce stress levels 🙂 . Who am I to argue with science?!

Erase the negative people 

I observed how incredible it was to be around genuine people. I was more upbeat and felt better in myself. Without toxic people in your life you ultimately flourish. You don’t need that friend who is going to betray you, you don’t need someone who is going to unload all their negativity onto you, you don’t need an individual who is only going to make contact when it suits them! . Frequently, it is difficult to eliminate these destructive people from your life, but these are the relationships that impose negative feelings so for self-growth it is imperative .

People who are sincere will not aim to dishearten or depress you. You only get one life and you deserve to spend it with the people who make you feel good about yourself. Unfriend, unfollow and unfasten from all the negative individuals 😉 .

You are YOU!

Always remember who you are. Occasionally, we can focus on the actions of others towards us or their negative words. Don’t disregard who you are as a person, everything you’ve done and the qualities you have. Your mistakes, successes or goals do not define you. Other peoples toxic actions towards you is a reflection of how horrible they are, it’s not a reflection of you.

Say what?!

Always listen to your emotions. If these emotions are suppressed they will fester inside us. Unconsciously these suppressed emotions will affect us throughout daily lives.
I never addressed any of the emotions I developed when people were critical towards me. I didn’t realise how the criticism made me feel, I just aimed to improve myself each time. To get over this need for appraisal from others I had to realise how the criticism made me feel. I had to allow all the suffering to vent in order to heal the pain.
Instead of suppressing these emotions learn to be kind to yourself and work through it. Do people still criticize me? Yes. Do I let it bother me? No.

Appreciate yourself. Set aside 15 minutes to appreciate certain things about yourself. Make this a daily ritual. It can be as insignificant as going for a jog or remembering to water your flowers! As long as you are conveying gratitude. We should not just appreciate ourselves when we achieve goals or reach milestones, the little things matter too.


Thank yourself! Thank yourself for never giving up! Thank yourself for striving through difficult times! Thank yourself for coping!


As I approach each new day, encounter new people and engage in new activities I always remind myself who I am and who I’ve become.

If you allow other peoples negativity to characterize who you are by what they do or what they say, you are ultimately offering them authority to dictate your feelings. Life becomes easier when you delete the negative people from it 🙂 .

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